it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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