We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
