I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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