Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
