it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
