New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well I just put wine in my tea
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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