oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
