I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
