Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
