I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's always time for handjobs
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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