I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
