Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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