My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
