so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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