i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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