i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
