Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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