i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
