sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
