omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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