i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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