so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
