hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
