Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
