have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think a kid would responsible me up
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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