This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
