Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
