Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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