We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?