toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i dont even know how to be here
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize