Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
