wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
