Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
