I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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