butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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