that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize