Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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