She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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