nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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