dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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