i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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