I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize