you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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