ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
