She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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