great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
