My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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