I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
