Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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