i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
