so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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