ugly people sure do ruin things
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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