Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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