The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
