So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think your dad took our porno
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
