the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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