Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
